A week or so ago I was riding my bike and I scratched myself – I don’t even know how I did it and it isn’t a big deal.
The scratch was nothing BUT over the last week it has gotten worse and has been oozing a little bit. Nothing to get my speedos in a bunch about but I thought I’d go to the doctors and find out why it hasn’t gotten better.
I’m $226 poorer for it.
The local medical clinic was just the same as any other medical place I’ve been to in Australia, stock full of female staff and everyone was nice and friendly. They took all my paperwork and just like in Australia – I sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes.
During the 45 minutes of relaxation in a room full of sneezing sick kids and crying babies I had the opportunity to fill in my 10 page Questionnaire – mostly usual stuff as I’ve had no major illness, no allergies, I haven’t broken any bones and my biggest operation was when I was a few months old getting 3 stitches in my right eye brow after I base jumped off my baby table…. I still have the scar.
There was a part of the 10 page questionnaire I didn’t like. It asked if I smoke and how much. I don’t smoke and never have. Then it asked if I ‘take’ caffeine products and how much. I drink coffee and I drink Jack Daniels and Coke so I answered Yes & LOTS. Next question was if I drink alcohol and how much. Same as above, yes and LOTS.
Those questions were a little off putting but I pushed on. Then I got some sexual questions…..
1. Are you sexually active?
2. How often?
3. How many sexual partners have you had?
Turns out the cut on my leg was just infected, my tetanus shot was a year out of date, they boosted it and 3 days later (as I write this post) the scratch has all but gone – there won’t even be a scar.
BUT…. this blog post has moved on from the scratch on my leg to a questionnaire asking me how many sexual partners I’ve had.
This is all within a week or so of you guys scolding me for calling my QANTAS flight attendant a ‘fairy’. Instead of being a smart arse, I just crossed out these questions – I told you I read all your comments and some of them stick.
If I hadn’t just had a lashing from my blog readers for my social insensitivity’s and my lack of political correctness I would have responded…..
1. Are you sexually active? ……. Sometimes
2. How often? …….Not often enuf
3. How many sexual partners have you had? ……. 84.5 (the .5 is because I shared Bruce with his wife, so he only counts as a half)
Since you guys gagged me, I’d love to hear how you would have answered these questions?